Balancing Act

A few months ago, when I was planning a lengthy business trip and rushing around the house trying to get everything done like a maniac, my husband Ted said something that has stuck in my mind…"don’t forget about us."

After thirty years of working, I am still trying to do it all. I am often asked how I get it all done, and I just smile because I know that I will never get it all done! I still struggle with finding that balance every day. I know it’s about setting priorities, but there are days when no matter how hard I try, it just doesn’t come together. Maybe it’s the eternal optimist in me, but I haven’t given up on trying to do it all.

This past week, we had a special treat – Ted and I went to New York to surprise Allison for her birthday. She was absolutely thrilled and it was great to be together as a family. Earlier in the day, when Ted and I were having lunch by ourselves, I pulled out my Blackberry to check a few messages. I could see the disappointment in Ted’s face and realized that I was taking time away from “us.” In my heart, I know that my family is my number one priority, but sometimes I take them for granted.

And so, when I saw Ted’s expression, it was a great reminder to stop checking messages for a minute, enjoy the moment and to remember “us.” When we are together, it is our time and it should be cherished (and treated like those urgent messages I am always checking on). My inbox may always be full, but my life is full too. Even when things go awry, my family is my rock and at the end of the day, I am still wife, mother, daughter, sister and friend to those who are dearest to me.

Barbara

Extraordinary Talent

I recently attended the FORTUNE Most Powerful Women Summit which is the world's premiere gathering of women leaders in business, government, academia, philanthropy, and the arts. The theme this year was “Extraordinary Talent” and I certainly left the meeting very inspired and motivated by women who are truly extraordinary and have been trailblazers in their fields. 

Like many women, I felt a little intimidated entering the room with superstar women such as Dr. Sally Ride, Melinda Gates, Martha Stewart, Billie Jean King, and Meg Whitman. All I could think was “WOW” and what an honor to be in the same room as them.

One of the most powerful messages that I heard during the Summit was from Indra Nooyi, PepsiCo Chairman and CEO. When asked “how did she get here,” her immediate answer was that she “had no idea.” All kidding aside, she was so very humble and paid tribute to the many who had given her a “gentle push” through their encouragement and guidance throughout her career, and, in many instances, took a risk by giving her an opportunity.

Her words resonated with me as I know that I would not be here today without the help of great leaders and mentors who took an interest in me and truly “owned” my success by giving me a chance, perhaps even taking a risk. Most of those opportunities were given to me at a time when I didn’t feel ready to take the next step, however, with their help, I was able to succeed. 

What I learned from some of the most powerful women in the world is that we are not alone—we all need help along the way, and, in the end, there is nothing more gratifying than sharing our success with others.

How are you owning another woman’s success?

Appreciating Diversity

I will always remember the words of my first mentor, Vincent Benitez, who said “never forget where you came from.” Last week, these words rang very true for me.

Being an Asian-American professional, I have always been keenly aware of my differences. I can remember times in my career where I would not only be the only woman at a meeting, but also the only Asian. Being naturally shy, I still have to work hard to overcome my natural tendency to be quiet in meetings and blend into the background. Speaking up is very counter-cultural to the way I was raised.

I grew up in a predominantly African-American and Japanese-American neighborhood in south central Los Angeles. Today, this is still "home" to me and my 90-year old father still lives in the house where I spent most of my childhood. When I went away to college, it was the first time that I felt “different” and realized that this was just the beginning of my journey to appreciating my differences.

Attending the Ascend national convention last week was, in many ways, like coming home. Being in a room filled with over 1,000 Asians, I found it energizing and inspiring to hear from many successful leaders. I was also touched by young professionals who are facing many of the same challenges that I have had throughout my career. Interestingly, I experienced these same feelings of connection when I attended the NABA and ALPFA conferences earlier this summer. What I now realize is that while we may look different and perhaps believe that we see things differently, we actually have much more in common…as people.

At times, we all struggle with feelings of shyness and self-doubt and by sharing our feelings, we can open the conversation and begin to build a bond between us. Today, I feel very proud of my background and remembering where I came from is a tribute to my parents and mentors who have been part of my journey. In the end, I believe that by embracing our differences, they become our strengths.

Barbara

By blogger Barbara Adachi, Deloitte LLP

Plugged in or Unplugged?

A few weeks ago before I was leaving on a business trip, my husband Ted said to me “don’t forget to stop and smell the roses.” My initial reaction was, “I will do that when I get all of my work done and have a chance to relax.” 

In this wired world of 24/7, I sometimes feel the very tools that make our lives easier and more efficient, can also make it nearly impossible to disconnect as we are never more than a click away. I find myself wondering…Is there really a way to unplug? Trying to balance it all is still a challenge for me, and I realize that my work may never be done—there will always be something more to do. And so, I need to actually make time to enjoy life instead of postponing it until it fits into my schedule.

With the long holiday weekend ahead, I plan to disconnect from technology and reconnect with myself and those who mean the world to me. I look forward to smelling the roses…savoring the smells of the barbeque and enjoying the sounds of conversation and laughter with friends and family. I know that if I can actually disconnect for a few days, I will come back refreshed and re-energized.

As women, we constantly try to do it all. This weekend we’re celebrating Independence Day so let’s savor that independence for ourselves by taking a break. I hope you can unplug and join me in taking time to smell the roses.

Barbara

By blogger Barbara Adachi, Deloitte LLP

Life is Just a Bowl of Cherries

Yesterday was a special day — Mother’s Day, a day to remember our mothers, our family and friends and the wonderful women who touch our lives every day. While my mother passed away nearly seven years ago, there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think about her.

My mom always said that “life is just a bowl of cherries.” As a child, I never really understood what it meant, but as I grew older, I could see how she lived her life. What she passed on to me was her love of life and her approach of enjoying life to the fullest, even the “pits.”

My mom was always the eternal optimist--she believed that having hope was a blessing. She barely finished high school (probably because she was a bit of a social butterfly) and worked most of her life as a bookkeeper. After the Japanese internment of WW2 where she and her family were relocated from California to Postin, Arizona, she moved to Cleveland and worked as a maid. I never heard her talk about the prejudice she experienced at the time of the war. She only mentioned how wonderful the family was that she worked for in Cleveland. I will always remember her stories of growing up during the Depression where her favorite Christmas gift was a six-pack of Coca-Cola, and her treat was that she could drink it all by herself, and not have to share it with any of her six older siblings. My mom kept life simple and taught us to appreciate the little things in life.

Most of all, my mom was truly an inspiration to our small family of my dad, my brother and me. She was the glue that held us all together and made us laugh even in the darkest of times. It was her optimism that I inherited and, hopefully, will pass on to our daughter.

As a mother, I now appreciate my mom more than ever. I was so excited yesterday to be spending the day in New York with our daughter, Allison. As I think about what makes Mother’s Day special, it is really about my mom and what she gave to me. Mom, I miss you so much but you are always with me. For me, every day is Mother’s Day and I am grateful to have had such a special mom who taught me to cherish every moment, as life is precious.

Barbara

By blogger Barbara Adachi, Deloitte LLP

Three Women

Note from blogger Barbara Adachi: My good friend, Branko Terzic, was just honored by the Women’s Council on Energy and Environment with the 2008 Champion Award. This got me thinking about how and why he became such a champion for women in the workforce. So, I’ve asked him to share his story with all of us.

My awareness and concern for women’s rights grew out of the personal stories of three women very dear and important to me: my mother, my wife, and my daughter.

My mother’s story, so very familiar to many women of her generation, is one of frustrated educational and career aspirations. Olivera Terzic’s desire to continue her medical school studies was disrupted by the invasion and occupation of her country, the Kingdom of Yugoslavia, by Nazi Germany followed by five years in refugee camps. To stay close to medicine she trained as a practical nurse, putting her life on the line by volunteering to look after high mortality typhus patients in the epidemic ravaged refugee camps of post-war Italy. Sadly, that’s where her aspirations for a medical career ended. Coming to this country from a Displaced Persons camp in Germany after World War II there were no college scholarships available, and certainly no medical school slots open, for a 30-year-old immigrant mother of two who aspired to be a doctor.

My wife Judith’s story is a bit more positive. She aspired to be an architect, but it was the 60s and her counselors and others dissuaded her from that career choice. I believe they knew the low probability that she would be given a fair chance in, what at that time was, a male-dominated profession. However, Judith went on to a successful career as a set and costume designer in the theater and would have continued, had I not failed to mail her resumé off to faraway Houston, Texas, and instead asked her to marry me and remain in Milwaukee.

The third story is that of my daughter, Elizabeth, who told me that, as a young accounting graduate, she chose Deloitte from among competing offers, not because I worked there, but because a woman was chairman of Deloitte’s board.

And so, in three generations, progress has been made, but not for every woman, not in every career field, not in every industry, and not in every office.

I could not help my mother or my wife when they were starting out, but, as a father, I clearly tried to do all any father would do to make sure my daughter got a fair chance in her professional career. I am pleased that she was able to make her own choices about her career without anyone telling her she couldn’t do it. Not all women have that chance.

For that reason, I joined the Industry Advisory Board of the Women’s Council on Energy and Environment, giving me the chance to do what I could not for my mother or my wife--to mentor and advise women in the profession they had chosen. 

The issue of “women’s rights” is, of course, intertwined with that of full “human rights.” I hope my own story will demonstrate that “human rights” and “women’s rights” can be addressed on an individual basis and in everyday life.

"The battle for individual rights of women is one of long standing and none of us should countenance anything which undermines it." — Eleanor Roosevelt

Branko

By guest blogger Branko Terzic, Global & U.S. Regulatory Policy Leader in Energy & Resources, Deloitte Services LP

In the Company of Greatness

This week, I was surrounded by amazing women who have made history in their own right.

I was fortunate to be in the company of greatness — Sally Ride, the first American woman to travel into space; Shelly Lazarus, CEO and Chairman of Ogilvy Worldwide; Jane Swift, former Massachusetts governor; and Myra Hart, co-founder of Staples and famous author.

Being in a room with these women, I was both awestruck and inspired. Thinking about their many contributions to women’s progress and their personal journeys, I was wondering what and who inspired them to take their leaps into greatness. The common thread among them is their passion, combined with confidence and courage. I can’t think of four more accomplished women and what a special way to celebrate Women’s History Month — they have touched my life personally and made the world more open for everyone.

While the majority of us won’t become astronauts, politicians, CEO’s and entrepreneurs, I believe we can make history in our own way. History is often made when a combination of small actions results in a change over time and becomes memorable — it’s not always a big event. Since I have been so fortunate in my life and career, I would like to help others be successful, particularly other women. I ask you to find a woman in your life for whom you can make a difference — a colleague, a friend, a daughter, a mother. I believe that history is made each and every day by all of us in how we touch and influence what happens to others who are part of our lives.

So, are you ready to make history?

Barbara

By blogger Barbara Adachi, Deloitte LLP

Precious Moments

Last week during my trip to New York, I was able to mix some pleasure with business by having dinner with my daughter, Allison, who just moved to NY last November. It was heartwarming to see our relationship today and the person she has become. Even though she is 25, in many ways it’s hard to let go and I finally understand what my own mother said to me many years ago – you never stop being a mom.

When Allison was younger, I spent a lot of time worrying about what moments I was missing, not to mention the guilt that I felt not being able to be there all of the time. When she was three years old, she asked Ted if I lived at the airport. That was a wake-up call for me — at that moment, I realized that I didn’t want to miss her childhood and look back someday with regret. I ended up changing jobs, but things didn’t really change until I made a decision to slow things down.

Today, I see a young confident woman and not the shy little girl who often cried at the thought of going to ballet class. With both of us working full-time, I struggled with trying to be a good mother and having a career. Long before we had mass career customization, I slowed down my pace and my role. It was more important to me not to miss those precious moments than getting the next promotion. Looking back today, I am happy that I made the choices that I did.

We’re empty-nesters now, but thanks to BlackBerries, email and cell phones, Allison and I communicate more today than when she lived at home. It’s the everyday things that bring us all together — like calling Ted (not me) for a favorite recipe or sending me a quick instant message when we’re both online. What I have learned is that every moment is precious — it doesn’t always have to be the big things. She lives 3,000 miles away now, but she is following her dream and building her own life in New York, and we couldn’t be prouder of her.

At dinner last week, Allison told me what I had always hoped to hear — that I have been a good mom and now, a friend...which is something I truly cherish.

Barbara

“In my daughter’s eyes, I see who I want to be.” Martina McBride

By blogger Barbara Adachi, Deloitte LLP

Where the Heart Is

It’s been a hectic few months, but I must say that I love my new role! I am still on a steep learning curve, but what is most rewarding is having passion about my work — both WIN and serving clients. Last Friday, I had the opportunity to interview summer intern candidates and I was reminded of how much I enjoy what I do. While the workload is full and there are never enough hours in the day, I can’t imagine being any place else. I do enjoy the challenge and most importantly, the people. While in Los Angeles, I had a chance to visit with a manager who is expecting her first child — what an exciting time. We discussed how to balance it all and my advice to her was simple…know your priorities and look at them everyday. It doesn’t mean we always get to do what is No. 1, but it will keep you focused on what is important.

Fitting a career into everything else in life is a constant challenge — and there are days when I feel overwhelmed and out of tilt. In my heart, I believe that you can have it all but there will always be trade-offs. Today is Valentine’s Day and it’s also my 32nd wedding anniversary. I could not enjoy my work without the complete support of my better half, Ted. After 32 years of marriage, we have certainly had our shares of ups and downs, but we have always tried to put our family first. Having that priority and a sense of humor (thanks to Ted!) has helped us stay the course.

Reflecting on Valentine’s Day, it’s a time to celebrate our loved ones and be thankful for the support we receive from them, in fact, we should be celebrating them everyday. It’s certainly where my heart is.

Barbara

By blogger Barbara Adachi, Deloitte LLP

Big Shoes

First and foremost, I would like to thank Cathy for the leadership, innovation and standard of excellence she has brought to our Women’s Initiative (WIN) and for inspiring all of us who she touched. I am so honored to succeed Cathy and am filled with many emotions — excitement, anticipation, gratitude and a bit of apprehension. After all, how do you follow such greatness?

To me, Cathy is like “Dorothy” traveling down the yellow brick road to success. Cathy has it all — heart, wisdom and courage. And she has used her talents to take WIN to new heights. When I think about following in Cathy’s footsteps, I realize what BIG shoes I must fill.

While Dorothy’s journey to Oz turned out to be a dream, what is different here is that this role is a dream come true for me. Sometimes, I have to pinch myself to take it all in and to grasp this great opportunity before me today. I have been so fortunate in my career and to have this role is truly the icing on the cake. I also feel that if this can happen to me, it can happen to anyone! I aspire to be a good leader and I hope I can help others achieve their dreams. My husband and I have always told our daughter to “follow your dreams and believe in yourself.” I am the eternal optimist, believing that everything is possible, and I think that the possibilities for WIN and our people are unlimited.

We are on the eve of our 15th year of WIN — it’s a time to reflect on our accomplishments and contemplate what’s next for us. Even though it’s a bit scary to take on the leadership of such a well-established and successful initiative, the good news is that I am not alone — I have strong support from leadership as well as a great team of WIN leaders across the country … and we are all excited and committed to shaping the future together. The path ahead is not about starting from scratch, but building on the solid foundation and successes that others before me have created. Aligning with diversity and our talent agenda, there is no better time for WIN.

And so, I am ready and excited to fill the BIG shoes, click my heels and take off — its time to seize this amazing opportunity!

"I've got big shoes to fill. This is my chance to do something. I have to seize the moment."  Andrew Jackson

And now I ask, what is your dream?

Barbara

By blogger Barbara Adachi, Deloitte LLP