Summer's over...

Letting it go

Well, summer is over and it’s that time of year when the kids have gone back to school and for those of us who aren’t in school, it’s time to get back to our routines. This summer was filled with lots of family time — friends’ weddings, vacations, and, best of all, getting to spend time with our daughter, Allison, whom we were able to see at three different weddings. I love the summer when it is “okay” to take time off and, in fact, we often put things on hold until after Labor Day, signifying a time when things will get back to “normal” again. But what is normal? For me, as a working mom, I always think that is time to get back into the routine. But even though Allison is grown up and lives far away, my routine is still about trying to fit all of the pieces of my career and personal life together. When I speak with other parents, this seems to be a constant battle.

I know that it has been ages since I have written and there is really no good excuse except I have been busy with life…and still trying to fit in a very full schedule of work, travel, friends, and some “me” time. After a 30-year career, I am finally getting comfortable that this is how I approach things, and that it will always be a challenge for me to be trying to fit it all in.

At a recent women’s conference, we had a roundtable discussion about how to balance it all. The most memorable advice was from one of the men…who summed it up in three simple words: “Let it go.” I laughed when I heard this and also realized that this is one of my biggest challenges — letting it go. Maybe this will be my next New Year’s resolution — just go with the flow. 

Are you able to just “let it go?”

Barbara

By blogger Barbara Adachi, Deloitte LLP

Wherever You Go, There You Are

Coming home again...

A number of years ago, a friend gave me a book called Wherever You Go, There You Are and this week, I was reminded of this title when I had a chance to visit our Wilton office. After almost 20 years at Deloitte, I finally had a chance to see “where it all happens” and I was thrilled to finally meet many of the people whose names I have heard through the years.

One of the great pleasures of my job is visiting many offices across the country and meeting my colleagues. What I am constantly reminded of is our great culture, which brought the book title to mind. Because we share the same values, wherever I go, I feel “at home” in every office. In Wilton, this was certainly true.

When I am asked why I am still at Deloitte, my answer is always “the values” and I am sure that many of my colleagues feel the same way. At the end of the day, our shared values are the glue that holds us together. Whether you serve internal or external clients, there’s a sense of commitment, collaboration, and the collective goal of providing the best service possible.

So, wherever we go, there we are… and our values are ever present. Thank you to my Wilton colleagues for the warm welcome and for making me feel like I was coming home, once again.

Barbara

By blogger Barbara Adachi, Deloitte LLP

Decision Time

I recently had a conversation with a senior manager who is traveling long distance every week for a project. There was a lot of discussion and debate when she decided to take this assignment – with long distance travel being a major concern as well as whether it fit with her longer term career goals.

We are often faced with situations that are not ideal and don’t seem to fit with what we had in mind. Typically, we have a choice to accept it or reject it, but also need to weigh the consequences of these options. Sometimes it’s not clear that there is actually a choice, and we may not feel confident enough to speak up and challenge the situation. We have all had difficult assignments, demanding bosses, and non-stop travel schedules and at times, these seem outside of our control. But looking back now, I see that many of the things that I didn’t like doing or didn’t understand their purpose or fit, have actually come together and prepared me for future opportunities.  

Our destiny is determined by choices – and those choices will ultimately be a mixture of good ones and bad ones. As I have shared before, I have learned more from my mistakes and failures than from my successes. In fact, when things go right for too long, I start to wonder when the other shoe will drop. I have decided that there are no bad choices as long as I learn from them – it’s all about the journey and making the most from whatever situation I am placed in. When all else fails, I know I still have the choice to have a positive attitude.  

As for the senior manager, she too has made the decision to have a positive attitude about her assignment and is discovering the “silver lining” of building new relationships on the project. At the end of the day, attitude is everything and it is within our power to choose what it will be.

Barbara

By blogger Barbara Adachi, Deloitte LLP

Getting Away From It All

I have just returned from the longest vacation I have ever taken – nearly 18 days! What I have learned about myself over the years is that in order for me to completely “get away” – I need to buy a plane ticket and travel to a place where I can’t get a Blackberry signal. I must admit it was heavenly to get away, but the temptation to check in did not completely disappear until the 10th day of my vacation.

During my vacation, we went to South America on a fly-fishing trip with our friends. At the lodge, there were other guests – businessmen who were constantly checking their Blackberries and laptops, during joint dinners and social time. They became known as the “Blackberry Boys” by everyone. I laughed at the time, but part of me wondered if I should be checking messages too. I vowed to turn off the Blackberry during my vacation, and I am proud that I kept that promise to myself. 

Returning today, I feel relaxed (maybe it’s the jet lag) and refreshed. Many of the same challenges are still here to be addressed, but after my vacation, they seem more manageable and not as enormous as they did a few weeks ago when I was feeling overwhelmed by it all.

Learning to relax isn’t always easy - as women, we want to do it all and feel the need to make sure that everything is in order before relaxing. I often have that guilty feeling that I should be checking in – what if someone needs something from me? Will everything get done while I am gone?

Following this vacation, I hope I can keep one of my new year’s resolutions to take better care of myself. What are some of your ways to relax and avoid burnout?

Barbara

By blogger Barbara Adachi, Deloitte LLP

Balancing Act

A few months ago, when I was planning a lengthy business trip and rushing around the house trying to get everything done like a maniac, my husband Ted said something that has stuck in my mind…"don’t forget about us."

After thirty years of working, I am still trying to do it all. I am often asked how I get it all done, and I just smile because I know that I will never get it all done! I still struggle with finding that balance every day. I know it’s about setting priorities, but there are days when no matter how hard I try, it just doesn’t come together. Maybe it’s the eternal optimist in me, but I haven’t given up on trying to do it all.

This past week, we had a special treat – Ted and I went to New York to surprise Allison for her birthday. She was absolutely thrilled and it was great to be together as a family. Earlier in the day, when Ted and I were having lunch by ourselves, I pulled out my Blackberry to check a few messages. I could see the disappointment in Ted’s face and realized that I was taking time away from “us.” In my heart, I know that my family is my number one priority, but sometimes I take them for granted.

And so, when I saw Ted’s expression, it was a great reminder to stop checking messages for a minute, enjoy the moment and to remember “us.” When we are together, it is our time and it should be cherished (and treated like those urgent messages I am always checking on). My inbox may always be full, but my life is full too. Even when things go awry, my family is my rock and at the end of the day, I am still wife, mother, daughter, sister and friend to those who are dearest to me.

Barbara

By blogger Barbara Adachi, Deloitte LLP

Extraordinary Talent

I recently attended the FORTUNE Most Powerful Women Summit which is the world's premiere gathering of women leaders in business, government, academia, philanthropy, and the arts. The theme this year was “Extraordinary Talent” and I certainly left the meeting very inspired and motivated by women who are truly extraordinary and have been trailblazers in their fields. 

Like many women, I felt a little intimidated entering the room with superstar women such as Dr. Sally Ride, Melinda Gates, Martha Stewart, Billie Jean King, and Meg Whitman. All I could think was “WOW” and what an honor to be in the same room as them.

One of the most powerful messages that I heard during the Summit was from Indra Nooyi, PepsiCo Chairman and CEO. When asked “how did she get here,” her immediate answer was that she “had no idea.” All kidding aside, she was so very humble and paid tribute to the many who had given her a “gentle push” through their encouragement and guidance throughout her career, and, in many instances, took a risk by giving her an opportunity.

Her words resonated with me as I know that I would not be here today without the help of great leaders and mentors who took an interest in me and truly “owned” my success by giving me a chance, perhaps even taking a risk. Most of those opportunities were given to me at a time when I didn’t feel ready to take the next step, however, with their help, I was able to succeed. 

What I learned from some of the most powerful women in the world is that we are not alone—we all need help along the way, and, in the end, there is nothing more gratifying than sharing our success with others.

How are you owning another woman’s success?

Barbara

By blogger Barbara Adachi, Deloitte LLP

Appreciating Diversity

I will always remember the words of my first mentor, Vincent Benitez, who said “never forget where you came from.” Last week, these words rang very true for me.

Being an Asian-American professional, I have always been keenly aware of my differences. I can remember times in my career where I would not only be the only woman at a meeting, but also the only Asian. Being naturally shy, I still have to work hard to overcome my natural tendency to be quiet in meetings and blend into the background. Speaking up is very counter-cultural to the way I was raised.

I grew up in a predominantly African-American and Japanese-American neighborhood in south central Los Angeles. Today, this is still "home" to me and my 90-year old father still lives in the house where I spent most of my childhood. When I went away to college, it was the first time that I felt “different” and realized that this was just the beginning of my journey to appreciating my differences.

Attending the Ascend national convention last week was, in many ways, like coming home. Being in a room filled with over 1,000 Asians, I found it energizing and inspiring to hear from many successful leaders. I was also touched by young professionals who are facing many of the same challenges that I have had throughout my career. Interestingly, I experienced these same feelings of connection when I attended the NABA and ALPFA conferences earlier this summer. What I now realize is that while we may look different and perhaps believe that we see things differently, we actually have much more in common…as people.

At times, we all struggle with feelings of shyness and self-doubt and by sharing our feelings, we can open the conversation and begin to build a bond between us. Today, I feel very proud of my background and remembering where I came from is a tribute to my parents and mentors who have been part of my journey. In the end, I believe that by embracing our differences, they become our strengths.

Barbara

By blogger Barbara Adachi, Deloitte LLP

Plugged in or Unplugged?

A few weeks ago before I was leaving on a business trip, my husband Ted said to me “don’t forget to stop and smell the roses.” My initial reaction was, “I will do that when I get all of my work done and have a chance to relax.” 

In this wired world of 24/7, I sometimes feel the very tools that make our lives easier and more efficient, can also make it nearly impossible to disconnect as we are never more than a click away. I find myself wondering…Is there really a way to unplug? Trying to balance it all is still a challenge for me, and I realize that my work may never be done—there will always be something more to do. And so, I need to actually make time to enjoy life instead of postponing it until it fits into my schedule.

With the long holiday weekend ahead, I plan to disconnect from technology and reconnect with myself and those who mean the world to me. I look forward to smelling the roses…savoring the smells of the barbeque and enjoying the sounds of conversation and laughter with friends and family. I know that if I can actually disconnect for a few days, I will come back refreshed and re-energized.

As women, we constantly try to do it all. This weekend we’re celebrating Independence Day so let’s savor that independence for ourselves by taking a break. I hope you can unplug and join me in taking time to smell the roses.

Barbara

By blogger Barbara Adachi, Deloitte LLP

Life is Just a Bowl of Cherries

Yesterday was a special day — Mother’s Day, a day to remember our mothers, our family and friends and the wonderful women who touch our lives every day. While my mother passed away nearly seven years ago, there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think about her.

My mom always said that “life is just a bowl of cherries.” As a child, I never really understood what it meant, but as I grew older, I could see how she lived her life. What she passed on to me was her love of life and her approach of enjoying life to the fullest, even the “pits.”

My mom was always the eternal optimist--she believed that having hope was a blessing. She barely finished high school (probably because she was a bit of a social butterfly) and worked most of her life as a bookkeeper. After the Japanese internment of WW2 where she and her family were relocated from California to Postin, Arizona, she moved to Cleveland and worked as a maid. I never heard her talk about the prejudice she experienced at the time of the war. She only mentioned how wonderful the family was that she worked for in Cleveland. I will always remember her stories of growing up during the Depression where her favorite Christmas gift was a six-pack of Coca-Cola, and her treat was that she could drink it all by herself, and not have to share it with any of her six older siblings. My mom kept life simple and taught us to appreciate the little things in life.

Most of all, my mom was truly an inspiration to our small family of my dad, my brother and me. She was the glue that held us all together and made us laugh even in the darkest of times. It was her optimism that I inherited and, hopefully, will pass on to our daughter.

As a mother, I now appreciate my mom more than ever. I was so excited yesterday to be spending the day in New York with our daughter, Allison. As I think about what makes Mother’s Day special, it is really about my mom and what she gave to me. Mom, I miss you so much but you are always with me. For me, every day is Mother’s Day and I am grateful to have had such a special mom who taught me to cherish every moment, as life is precious.

Barbara

By blogger Barbara Adachi, Deloitte LLP

Three Women

Note from blogger Barbara Adachi: My good friend, Branko Terzic, was just honored by the Women’s Council on Energy and Environment with the 2008 Champion Award. This got me thinking about how and why he became such a champion for women in the workforce. So, I’ve asked him to share his story with all of us.

My awareness and concern for women’s rights grew out of the personal stories of three women very dear and important to me: my mother, my wife, and my daughter.

My mother’s story, so very familiar to many women of her generation, is one of frustrated educational and career aspirations. Olivera Terzic’s desire to continue her medical school studies was disrupted by the invasion and occupation of her country, the Kingdom of Yugoslavia, by Nazi Germany followed by five years in refugee camps. To stay close to medicine she trained as a practical nurse, putting her life on the line by volunteering to look after high mortality typhus patients in the epidemic ravaged refugee camps of post-war Italy. Sadly, that’s where her aspirations for a medical career ended. Coming to this country from a Displaced Persons camp in Germany after World War II there were no college scholarships available, and certainly no medical school slots open, for a 30-year-old immigrant mother of two who aspired to be a doctor.

My wife Judith’s story is a bit more positive. She aspired to be an architect, but it was the 60s and her counselors and others dissuaded her from that career choice. I believe they knew the low probability that she would be given a fair chance in, what at that time was, a male-dominated profession. However, Judith went on to a successful career as a set and costume designer in the theater and would have continued, had I not failed to mail her resumé off to faraway Houston, Texas, and instead asked her to marry me and remain in Milwaukee.

The third story is that of my daughter, Elizabeth, who told me that, as a young accounting graduate, she chose Deloitte from among competing offers, not because I worked there, but because a woman was chairman of Deloitte’s board.

And so, in three generations, progress has been made, but not for every woman, not in every career field, not in every industry, and not in every office.

I could not help my mother or my wife when they were starting out, but, as a father, I clearly tried to do all any father would do to make sure my daughter got a fair chance in her professional career. I am pleased that she was able to make her own choices about her career without anyone telling her she couldn’t do it. Not all women have that chance.

For that reason, I joined the Industry Advisory Board of the Women’s Council on Energy and Environment, giving me the chance to do what I could not for my mother or my wife--to mentor and advise women in the profession they had chosen. 

The issue of “women’s rights” is, of course, intertwined with that of full “human rights.” I hope my own story will demonstrate that “human rights” and “women’s rights” can be addressed on an individual basis and in everyday life.

"The battle for individual rights of women is one of long standing and none of us should countenance anything which undermines it." — Eleanor Roosevelt

Branko

By guest blogger Branko Terzic, Global & U.S. Regulatory Policy Leader in Energy & Resources, Deloitte Services LP