Unfinished Business

Sometimes you just gotta wonder “what are they thinking?!” ‘They,’ in this case, is a premier national department store well known for their customer service (WKFTCS). I was going to specifically call out this retail establishment, but it’s likely that many of their competitors do the same thing so I’ll indict, by implication, the whole crowd.

I went into this WKFTCS store recently to buy a pair of dress slacks; not an uncommon occurrence. Also not uncommon is that I often find myself buying a jacket and/or shoes and/or a blouse and/or a purse and/or [on and on and on] to go with the pair of slacks. Oh, and did I mention that I’m not particularly price-sensitive or really a ‘sale’ shopper? In short, I’m a dream customer for any retailer.

So I find a nice pair of Armani slacks (full price, oh well) that have an unfinished hem. No big deal. Even when they charged me to finish the unfinished hem, it was no big deal—an annoying, bad-taste-in-my-mouth distraction, but still no big deal.

Until, until I learn that if you go to the men’s department, all unhemmed slacks—whether $50 or $500—include free tailoring. What is that about?

So I ask: why do good companies institute stupid, downright gender-biased policies that, well, bite the hands that feed them? (Women do buy the vast majority of all consumer goods after all.)

Has your proverbial hand been nipped at lately?

Cathy

By blogger Cathy Benko, Deloitte LLP

Someone Else's Shoes

Note from blogger Cathy Benko: As you know, from time-to-time we like to mix things up a bit by inviting guest bloggers to contribute to our community. The guest picks the topic and the message. Following is a pertinent topic for all of us, regardless of gender or generation. At least I think so. But more important: What do you think? Cathy

With people working longer and job and career changes becoming ever-more common, more and more of us will find ourselves in the position of working for a manager who is younger than we are or in the sometimes uncomfortable position of having to supervise someone with potentially years more “experience” than that of our own. It’s important not to let potential tensions further widen the generation gap.

Prior to entering the corporate world, I was a practicing geriatrician, which gave me much insight into the generational divide. When aging parents start to relinquish some control of their lives over to adult children to manage, the transition can be bumpy. For the patient, going from a position of authority to one of deference can surface feelings of inadequacy and personal failure. Meanwhile, the adult child often fails to act in a timely and efficient fashion because they are unaccustomed to the role of decision-maker. A key part of fostering a working relationship is acknowledging the potential for these feelings upfront and encouraging each to voice their feelings and concerns. As the third-party, the sooner that I established that we all have a common goal, the better the care of the patient.

This applies to the job site, too. While workplace issues may not be fraught with the emotional complexities of the parent-child relationship, there is no doubt that such feelings between employees of different ages, either chronological or experiential, do exist and can manifest themselves in very petty ways. It can be very difficult to put these emotions aside and focus on the real goal: sealing the deal, completing the task, adding to the bottom line. If you find that you are having difficulties relating to one of your colleagues or cannot seem to figure out their thought process or problem-solving style, fall back on an old adage. It is true. You can learn a lot about someone by putting yourself in their shoes.

And remember, whether our heels are well-trodden or new, Payless or Prada, we all put them on one foot at a time.

By Dr. Brent Ridge, Executive Health Columnist for Forbes.com; faculty member of Mount Sinai School of Medicine in New York; and Vice President for Healthy Living at Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia

A Mother's Magna Carta

With Mothers’ Day in the offing, I got to thinking about, uh, mothers. This brought to mind one of my favorite quotes (author unknown): “All mothers are working mothers.” Amen to that! How uncanny is it that without vocational training or instruction, mothers have a universal set of, well, motherly aptitude. The highest order motherly trait is unconditional love. From president to ax murderer, no matter what, a mother loves her kid.

Mothers universally tell their kids to sit up straight, drink their milk, do their homework and that they can be anything they want to be. Mothers can give looks that say a thousand words—and read thoughts that cannot be expressed in words. Mothers have magical powers where a smile can right any wrong and a hug make all the difference. 

Last year on Mothers’ Day, my kids posted a set of rules, a magna carta of sorts, on the refrigerator door. (Yes, of course I saved the list—I’m a mom after all!—and pulled it out the other day to honor the anniversary of their ratification.) The rules read as follows:

• No hitting
• No pushing
• No kicking
• No food fights
• Yes, kiss mom
• Yes, hug mom
• No photos without mom
• No bad manners
• Have fun
• Follow the rules

I’m not sure just what these rules say about my parenting skills, but am steadfast in my belief of the loving intentions behind the list. How about you? What would your magna carta say?

Cathy

By blogger Cathy Benko, Deloitte LLP

The Mistake of the Mistake

I wasn’t gonna do it. I wasn’t going to hop into the fray of the tussle over the key messages in the recently published book, The Feminine Mistake. I guess it’s not a surprise to me that it’s being discarded out-of-hand (and left on the book shelves) by so many folks, particularly women folks. It includes some tough messages for sure. The kind of messages that strike raw, emotional cords.

Let’s face it, tackling the topic of abandoning economic independence for the mommy track by putting cold, hard, sometimes ugly facts on the table will do that. But that’s not the mistake. Nope. I don’t fault that; in fact, a commendation is in order. It’s a service to all of us.

The mistake with the Mistake is that it mistakenly labels the choice of being a work-in-the-home mom as, well, a mistake. The author, a talented and articulate woman, would have better served herself and many others by putting forth her extensive research—financial, sociological, psychological, legal and the like—and letting it ably hang out for all to see, to interpret, and to internalize—or not.

Extrapolating this plethora of facts into an impassioned pronouncement that women shouldn’t drop out of the workforce to raise families takes it too far—which is a shame. This topic of career and family is all about making choices. It was, still is, and I’ll bet a paycheck, will be tomorrow as well. The value of the author’s research is the information provided that allows each of us to make better-informed choices. The more informed the choice; the more grounded the decision.

This information well-serves by chipping away at our naivety, but extending the license of this same information to a proclamation of sorts, in essence shaking that choice away from any of us just doesn’t sit right. A bigger mistake, though, may be the mistake of being so turned off by the mistake that time isn’t invested to gleen the facts—for our own knowledge and edification.

Or am I mistaken here?  What do you think?

Cathy

By blogger Cathy Benko, Deloitte LLP