Getting Away From It All

I have just returned from the longest vacation I have ever taken – nearly 18 days! What I have learned about myself over the years is that in order for me to completely “get away” – I need to buy a plane ticket and travel to a place where I can’t get a Blackberry signal. I must admit it was heavenly to get away, but the temptation to check in did not completely disappear until the 10th day of my vacation.

During my vacation, we went to South America on a fly-fishing trip with our friends. At the lodge, there were other guests – businessmen who were constantly checking their Blackberries and laptops, during joint dinners and social time. They became known as the “Blackberry Boys” by everyone. I laughed at the time, but part of me wondered if I should be checking messages too. I vowed to turn off the Blackberry during my vacation, and I am proud that I kept that promise to myself. 

Returning today, I feel relaxed (maybe it’s the jet lag) and refreshed. Many of the same challenges are still here to be addressed, but after my vacation, they seem more manageable and not as enormous as they did a few weeks ago when I was feeling overwhelmed by it all.

Learning to relax isn’t always easy - as women, we want to do it all and feel the need to make sure that everything is in order before relaxing. I often have that guilty feeling that I should be checking in – what if someone needs something from me? Will everything get done while I am gone?

Following this vacation, I hope I can keep one of my new year’s resolutions to take better care of myself. What are some of your ways to relax and avoid burnout?

Barbara

By blogger Barbara Adachi, Deloitte LLP

Comments

[Neha in Hyderabad]

I don’t know if it’s because we’re women, but as I grow older, I find that I have this unending list scrolling down my brain of all the things that need to be done. The tiny whiteboard on my refrigerator is just a reflection of this list.

One lovely Saturday afternoon, my husband asked me if I’d like to play a boardgame with him. I think I sort of lost it then because as he tells the story, “She went on about the bottom right shelf of the top left cupboard, on and on and on.” The way I saw it, it was on my list! So it had to be done. Even my cats, sitting on the bottom right shelf were giving me the look that said that I had indeed, well and truly, lost it. I had lost the excitement of weekends, of a whole day off, of good weather, of cozy afternoons, of just relaxing. I seemed to have turned life into something you live in between all the times that you’re working. So of course, I played the game. I figured the bottom right shelf would still be there, but that afternoon would be gone forever. Sometimes, you don’t need to get away to get away from it all.

[Mai in New York]

Glad you were able to disengage from the office during your trip, Barbara. Your blog post made me realize that to truly “get away” and get immersed in your trip, you have to rely on the people back home to respect your need to extricate yourself from the work environment. So I am very pleased that I didn’ t make any attempt to reach you while you were away!

[Kevin in Washington, D.C.]

I have similar challenges with feelings of guilt regarding personal time, but I like to manage them through micro-doses of work. I never completely get the Blackberry monkey off my back, but I do set a strict rule for myself…30 minutes of work each PTO day…no less and no more. I find that allows me to shake the nerves about missing a critical email or client question, and then I can truly enjoy the rest of my day knowing that I have put out the fires that burn most brightly. I like to schedule my 30 minutes right before an activity (lunch, spa, whatever) so that I have that much more of an incentive to comply with my own rule, and then some fun to look forward to afterwards.

In our business, everyone needs their own personal answer regarding how to manage work/personal time. It’s good to talk about it and share techniques. It’s remarkable how creative people can be sometimes in finding their own solution.

[Judy in Wilton]

Kudos to you! You hit a chord with me when you highlighted that as women we frequently need to feel that all is covered before we can switch off. I have often pointed to my Blackberry as a blessing and a curse in this regard – it allows us to ensure that all is taken care of but it also enables us to check in constantly to make sure that all stays under control.

Your thoughts give me the confidence to know that it is ok to “just let go” – I consider that a gift that I will tap into during those times that are meant to be time for me – time where I can be off duty without guilt, knowing that I must let go to completely recharge and be ready to take the reins again.

[Mari-Anne in Los Angeles]

I’m curious what you found upon returning from PTO, in response to your question: “Will everything get done while I am gone?” Did you find that your work world carried on well without you, or were you given reason to wish you had checked your Blackberry? And how will the answer to this impact your approach to your next vacation?