Summer's over...

Letting it go

Well, summer is over and it’s that time of year when the kids have gone back to school and for those of us who aren’t in school, it’s time to get back to our routines. This summer was filled with lots of family time — friends’ weddings, vacations, and, best of all, getting to spend time with our daughter, Allison, whom we were able to see at three different weddings. I love the summer when it is “okay” to take time off and, in fact, we often put things on hold until after Labor Day, signifying a time when things will get back to “normal” again. But what is normal? For me, as a working mom, I always think that is time to get back into the routine. But even though Allison is grown up and lives far away, my routine is still about trying to fit all of the pieces of my career and personal life together. When I speak with other parents, this seems to be a constant battle.

I know that it has been ages since I have written and there is really no good excuse except I have been busy with life…and still trying to fit in a very full schedule of work, travel, friends, and some “me” time. After a 30-year career, I am finally getting comfortable that this is how I approach things, and that it will always be a challenge for me to be trying to fit it all in.

At a recent women’s conference, we had a roundtable discussion about how to balance it all. The most memorable advice was from one of the men…who summed it up in three simple words: “Let it go.” I laughed when I heard this and also realized that this is one of my biggest challenges — letting it go. Maybe this will be my next New Year’s resolution — just go with the flow. 

Are you able to just “let it go?”

Barbara

By blogger Barbara Adachi, Deloitte LLP

Comments

[Jane]

Yes! In fact I let it go for 8 years - which I do not regret for a single moment. I was able to return to an international tax career with a different understanding of what is truly important to me. Would I encourage my children or grandchildren to "let it go?" In a heartbeat. I'm not advocating irresponsibility or laziness, but if you don't take time to figure out what (besides money and/or ego) is motivating you, it's much more difficult to know when to say "no" or "later." Taking time to figure out yourself also gives you an opportunity to find out what your minimum requirements are - why struggle for the cherry on the top of the dessert if you don't really like cherries anyway?

[Pam]

I don't know which way the balance discussion has gone. The economic meltdown seems to have taken the 'balance' issue off the front burner and back burners simultaneously. There are so many women and workers generally who feel less able to be flexible coming out of (or still in) uncertain economic times. Even after a 30-year career in financial services and now consulting, I certainly feel more pressure to keep more of my eye on work and less on life. I truly feel for me younger colleagues who are still on the upside of the career hill because there seem to be no good answers after all this time. 'Let it go' may work, but it is simply not in many of our lexicons. It is not advice I would give my daughters, if I had any. It is not advice I give my sons, of which I have two - - who are just beginning their professional careers. It takes a lot of plannning in the year, in the month, in the week, and sometimes in the day to get it 'all' done. My motto has been, but more in hindsight, 'you can do it all, but just not all at once.' An ounce of planning goes along way, followed by a dash of flexibility and a pinch of humor. I'm not sure I even envy those who can just 'let it go.'

[Marge]

After 37 years - I am not able to let it go so much but I am able to say - not now to many things - I am much better at prioritizing what is important at work and what is important in my family life. I also learned that somethings take care of themselves and they don't need me. But I may still wince when I leave things for later!