Slapped Silly

Summer is in full swing, and we’re on a pilgrimage to the Jersey shore. (Yes, we do live in the majestic bay area, and yes, we do eagerly schlep the 3,000 miles for an annual dose of the “shore.”) ‘Schlep,’ of course, is the operative word. Along with the schlep comes a phrase my kids use over and over again along the 12-hour, door-to-door journey: “How much longer will it take?” It’s their own version of “are we there yet?” which of course they know that we’re not. I suspect this is why they don’t express their anxiousness with so common a phrase.

I was recently asked the same question, “How much longer will it take?” by a colleague, except the depth of meaning in his words and facial expression caught me way off guard. (Off guard isn’t exactly right. It was more like frozen in place, and I continue to play it over and over in my mind.) His question connects with last week’s Conflicted entry.

We were in a session discussing the mass career customization (mcc) rollout, and I mentioned that I was mentally working to resolve my ‘conflict.’ He turned to me and uttered that familiar question in a quiet pitch with eye contact and meaning that spoke a thousand subtle, impactful words.

His message was clear and undeniable: there are a lot of people within our firm and beyond that are watching us with eager intent; that people are looking for some organization (and by extension, someone) to come up with a better way; that so many are counting on mcc to structurally resolve the workplace-workforce misalignment dilemma; that, in short, it matters.

And, well, that your (my) hang up is trivial in scale. So just get over it—and get on with it. Ok, I get it. Slapped silly by a few nominal words and one power-packed stare. I’m all-in. Now, how about you?

Cathy

By blogger Cathy Benko, Deloitte LLP

Conflicted

I’ve been radio-silent on the blog front for a bit. Sorry about that. Life, and summer camps, and work (does the volume of work seem to rise in the summer because there’s more hot air?), and the change of kids’ routines, and settling in with a new team, and preparing to launch a groundbreaking book, and…, and…, and… all contribute to the silence.

This is a tough blog for me to write. Why? Because, in part, I’m conflicted about talking about what I’m conflicted about. (You’re following this, right?) OK, let me start at the beginning. A while back I took some time to really think through the issue of flexibility in the workplace. Thinking squarely, at the time, that flexibility was predominantly a women’s issue, it seemed like a good thing to tackle given my role in leading our women’s initiative. Well, it didn’t take long to figure out that flexibility is not a women’s issue. Nope. It’s a people issue and comes in all genders, shapes and sizes. Women, as it turns out, just happen to be the canaries in the corporate coal mine on the topic.

To briefly sum up the findings: the workforce has changed—a lot—while the workplace has not. So our little crack team sketched out a corporate solution to the problem, which is dubbed “mass career customization (MCC).” Some time has now passed during which we’ve piloted this notion of customizing careers and even got coerced into (and delivered) a manuscript to Harvard Press on the topic (the book will be formally published in September). With me so far?

I’ve subsequently been given a new role in the firm leading Talent for the Deloitte U.S. entities, and in this role, one of my jobs is to make the workplace of the future a reality, which of course, includes a broad rollout of MCC across the organization. This is where the first layer of conflict comes in. I’m conflicted by the inherent conflict of authoring such a broad sweeping change in the way we will work and also being responsible for its implementation. My concern, in a nutshell, is that it may come across as self-promotional, as in “of course we’re moving in this direction, it’s her thought ware after all.” Besides self-promotion not being lady like, my fear is that this line of thinking will detract from the power of the innovation.

But that’s just the first layer of conflict. There is a second as well. I’m conflicted about expressing my conflict. You see, as a leader, I’m conflicted about what I should or should not be transparent about.

In the spirit of being compulsively transparent, I’m coming clean about the conflicts. This doesn’t mean I’m not conflicted anymore (far from it!), but just that I’m past keeping mum about it. So I ask: What’s your recipe for conflict resolution?

Cathy

By blogger Cathy Benko, Deloitte LLP

The New Normal: All in the Family

It was so prevalent, so everyday that most of us (well, at least most of us old enough to live through the time), never really even thought about it. From Father Knows Best to Leave It To Beaver to even All In The Family (Archie Bunker’s family if you recall), it was a given. And systems of society were built around it. (If you’d like a little trip down memory lane, just go to: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Father_Knows_Best, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leave_it_to_Beaver, and http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/All_in_the_Family.)

What, pray tell, is the ‘given’? A traditional family structure where dad went off to work and mom stayed home, running the household and raising the children. Nearly two-thirds of American households in past generations fit this model.

But, my oh my, have times changed. Today, only 17 percent of U.S. households fall into this traditional model, which makes most of us nontraditional, I guess. (Yep, I’m one of the 83% in the nontraditional family structure camp.) And if you think about it, a whole crop of consumer products and services has responded in kind. There are lots of day care centers, more restaurants than ever (did you know that Americans now spend half of their food budgets eating out?), merry maid services, easy-to-put-on-the-table packaged meals, dog walking services, and on and on all targeting this new family normal.

But there is one laggard in the group—one really big, giant part of U.S. society that hasn’t quite grasped this yet. And chances are that if you’re reading this blog, you are a part of it: big business. The very organizations that you and I and, well, millions of us work for, the companies who contrarily produce goods and services to serve this new reality, aren’t themselves organized to structurally respond to it. Not-a-one.

There have been some who have made dents, but not-a-one has structurally changed their traditional workplace (think a continual climb up the corporate ladder, 40 or so hours a week, in the office (no matter how long your commute), breaks in employment only for a few and by exception, etc.) to align with the nontraditional needs that most of us have today. Many are well-intentioned for sure, doing things ‘on the margin’ like flexible work arrangements (that carry their own baggage as many of us well know!), some telecommuting (particularly on Fridays), etc. but no one has figured out that, well, the workforce has changed forever, and now, too, must the workplace.

We think it’s a worthy cause to take on—and it’s about time that someone did something so that concepts like off-ramps and opt-ins don’t have to be part of our realities. Whatta ya think? Is it worth it? Could it ever be? 

Cathy

By blogger Cathy Benko, Deloitte LLP

The New Normal: Fatherhood

Note from blogger: We’re going to shake things up a bit on the blog front and from time-to-time include a series of related entries. There’s no time like the present, so we’ll start now with a series (yes, you’ve guessed it) called “The New Normal.” Since it’s Father's Day weekend, it seems fitting to choose a topic that’s, well, father-related. This is an experiment of sorts, but hey, let’s see where it goes.

I was shocked. There I was, enjoying a phoofy dinner during a global board meeting of a big-time institution. The dinner speaker, world-renowned (of course, what else would you expect at a global board dinner of a big-time institution), was entertaining in style and had a thought-provoking message. What was most provoking to me was when he said, paraphrasing, ‘sorry to be speaking to you during dinner instead of after dessert, but it’s one of my nights each week to make dinner for my kids. My wife and I split it right down the middle.’

His compulsive transparency is refreshing—but is it evidence of a sea-change? Yes, I think so. Fresh cases in point:

• Federal Energy Regulatory Commission (FERC) Chairman gave a keynote speech last month with his 21-month old son “clinging to his neck.”
• A study reported in a New York Times article found that the time that men spend today on child care activities has increased 150 percent and hours spent on housework also increased by nearly the same amount.
• Last week a White House aide blogged on a Wall Street Journal site that he was stepping down, citing his family as a key reason. http://blogs.wsj.com/juggle/2007/06/04/notes-on-a-white-house-juggle/
• An Amazon.com book search for “Fatherhood” returns 20,511 results with hilarious titles like Mack Daddy, Hold It Like a Football, Zen and the Art of Fatherhood, Fatherhood: An Owner’s Manual, The Sane Man’s Guide to the Insane World of Fatherhood, Stark Raving Dad, Daddy Dumbest; Nipple Confusion…, etc. If there wasn’t a market; there wouldn’t be new publications to meet it.
• There are also now online magazines specifically for fathers. (Interactive Dad is a pretty good one.)

I could go on here. Fatherhood isn’t what it used to be. With any luck, I’ve well-stated the case. Well, did I?

Cathy

P.S. To all our fathers out there, best wishes for a terrific Father’s Day. You make such a difference!

By blogger Cathy Benko, Deloitte LLP

Refreshly Minted

It's that time of year, final exams, the start of summer, and Pomp and Circumstance mentally playing in the minds of bright, newly graduated eyes that are eager and anxious to make their marks in the corporate world. It kinda makes you wonder: what kind of corporate workplace will they find?

If workplace history holds, what he and she will find is a well gender-balanced entry class of working newbies (women will actually be the majority, but it's subtle enough that most won't take notice). Good news for sure—let's recall that it wasn't always like that.

But what each sees at the start of potentially illustrious careers is not what today's reality says the fresh-faced women will experience down the line. Recent studies, once again, present a sobering picture of stalled progress in terms of women's advancement. The number of women corporate officers in the Fortune 500 is stagnating; almost half of the Fortune 1000 have no women in their top executive ranks; the labor force participation of women with young children is also languishing; and the gender pay gap seems equally stubborn-- even after controlling for sector, experience and performance.

Fifteen years ago, Felice Schwartz, the founder of Catalyst, made the business case for attracting, retaining and advancing women in a landmark Harvard Business Review article . Leading organizations work diligently to address—and remove--both the structural and cultural inhibiters that women face as their careers progress.

While in the short run, these young turks may be puzzled about why world class organizations like mine have gone to the all the trouble since they look around laterally and don't see an issue. [See Time Warp and Time Warp Revisited for corresponding vignettes.] 

On the other hand, maybe I'm not giving this group enough credit. Maybe they are the ones that will force the break of this elusive cycle. I ponder what I can do to support them (I've got a few big ideas on the drawing board—more on this shortly).

Do you ponder what you can do as well? Any crafty ideas you'd like to throw out there?

Cathy

By blogger Cathy Benko, Deloitte LLP

Unfinished Business

Sometimes you just gotta wonder “what are they thinking?!” ‘They,’ in this case, is a premier national department store well known for their customer service (WKFTCS). I was going to specifically call out this retail establishment, but it’s likely that many of their competitors do the same thing so I’ll indict, by implication, the whole crowd.

I went into this WKFTCS store recently to buy a pair of dress slacks; not an uncommon occurrence. Also not uncommon is that I often find myself buying a jacket and/or shoes and/or a blouse and/or a purse and/or [on and on and on] to go with the pair of slacks. Oh, and did I mention that I’m not particularly price-sensitive or really a ‘sale’ shopper? In short, I’m a dream customer for any retailer.

So I find a nice pair of Armani slacks (full price, oh well) that have an unfinished hem. No big deal. Even when they charged me to finish the unfinished hem, it was no big deal—an annoying, bad-taste-in-my-mouth distraction, but still no big deal.

Until, until I learn that if you go to the men’s department, all unhemmed slacks—whether $50 or $500—include free tailoring. What is that about?

So I ask: why do good companies institute stupid, downright gender-biased policies that, well, bite the hands that feed them? (Women do buy the vast majority of all consumer goods after all.)

Has your proverbial hand been nipped at lately?

Cathy

By blogger Cathy Benko, Deloitte LLP

Someone Else's Shoes

Note from blogger Cathy Benko: As you know, from time-to-time we like to mix things up a bit by inviting guest bloggers to contribute to our community. The guest picks the topic and the message. Following is a pertinent topic for all of us, regardless of gender or generation. At least I think so. But more important: What do you think? Cathy

With people working longer and job and career changes becoming ever-more common, more and more of us will find ourselves in the position of working for a manager who is younger than we are or in the sometimes uncomfortable position of having to supervise someone with potentially years more “experience” than that of our own. It’s important not to let potential tensions further widen the generation gap.

Prior to entering the corporate world, I was a practicing geriatrician, which gave me much insight into the generational divide. When aging parents start to relinquish some control of their lives over to adult children to manage, the transition can be bumpy. For the patient, going from a position of authority to one of deference can surface feelings of inadequacy and personal failure. Meanwhile, the adult child often fails to act in a timely and efficient fashion because they are unaccustomed to the role of decision-maker. A key part of fostering a working relationship is acknowledging the potential for these feelings upfront and encouraging each to voice their feelings and concerns. As the third-party, the sooner that I established that we all have a common goal, the better the care of the patient.

This applies to the job site, too. While workplace issues may not be fraught with the emotional complexities of the parent-child relationship, there is no doubt that such feelings between employees of different ages, either chronological or experiential, do exist and can manifest themselves in very petty ways. It can be very difficult to put these emotions aside and focus on the real goal: sealing the deal, completing the task, adding to the bottom line. If you find that you are having difficulties relating to one of your colleagues or cannot seem to figure out their thought process or problem-solving style, fall back on an old adage. It is true. You can learn a lot about someone by putting yourself in their shoes.

And remember, whether our heels are well-trodden or new, Payless or Prada, we all put them on one foot at a time.

By Dr. Brent Ridge, Executive Health Columnist for Forbes.com; faculty member of Mount Sinai School of Medicine in New York; and Vice President for Healthy Living at Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia

A Mother's Magna Carta

With Mothers’ Day in the offing, I got to thinking about, uh, mothers. This brought to mind one of my favorite quotes (author unknown): “All mothers are working mothers.” Amen to that! How uncanny is it that without vocational training or instruction, mothers have a universal set of, well, motherly aptitude. The highest order motherly trait is unconditional love. From president to ax murderer, no matter what, a mother loves her kid.

Mothers universally tell their kids to sit up straight, drink their milk, do their homework and that they can be anything they want to be. Mothers can give looks that say a thousand words—and read thoughts that cannot be expressed in words. Mothers have magical powers where a smile can right any wrong and a hug make all the difference. 

Last year on Mothers’ Day, my kids posted a set of rules, a magna carta of sorts, on the refrigerator door. (Yes, of course I saved the list—I’m a mom after all!—and pulled it out the other day to honor the anniversary of their ratification.) The rules read as follows:

• No hitting
• No pushing
• No kicking
• No food fights
• Yes, kiss mom
• Yes, hug mom
• No photos without mom
• No bad manners
• Have fun
• Follow the rules

I’m not sure just what these rules say about my parenting skills, but am steadfast in my belief of the loving intentions behind the list. How about you? What would your magna carta say?

Cathy

By blogger Cathy Benko, Deloitte LLP

The Mistake of the Mistake

I wasn’t gonna do it. I wasn’t going to hop into the fray of the tussle over the key messages in the recently published book, The Feminine Mistake. I guess it’s not a surprise to me that it’s being discarded out-of-hand (and left on the book shelves) by so many folks, particularly women folks. It includes some tough messages for sure. The kind of messages that strike raw, emotional cords.

Let’s face it, tackling the topic of abandoning economic independence for the mommy track by putting cold, hard, sometimes ugly facts on the table will do that. But that’s not the mistake. Nope. I don’t fault that; in fact, a commendation is in order. It’s a service to all of us.

The mistake with the Mistake is that it mistakenly labels the choice of being a work-in-the-home mom as, well, a mistake. The author, a talented and articulate woman, would have better served herself and many others by putting forth her extensive research—financial, sociological, psychological, legal and the like—and letting it ably hang out for all to see, to interpret, and to internalize—or not.

Extrapolating this plethora of facts into an impassioned pronouncement that women shouldn’t drop out of the workforce to raise families takes it too far—which is a shame. This topic of career and family is all about making choices. It was, still is, and I’ll bet a paycheck, will be tomorrow as well. The value of the author’s research is the information provided that allows each of us to make better-informed choices. The more informed the choice; the more grounded the decision.

This information well-serves by chipping away at our naivety, but extending the license of this same information to a proclamation of sorts, in essence shaking that choice away from any of us just doesn’t sit right. A bigger mistake, though, may be the mistake of being so turned off by the mistake that time isn’t invested to gleen the facts—for our own knowledge and edification.

Or am I mistaken here?  What do you think?

Cathy

By blogger Cathy Benko, Deloitte LLP

Wind Beneath Our Wings

It’s pointed out from time-to-time that each of our individual and collective success has been built on the backs of those who’ve come before us. Here, here! Recognizing and celebrating the role of our forebearers in our accomplishments is fitting.

But there’s another group, in the present, that deserves a bucketful of tribute—admins (including all iterations and permutations of the term). This group of folks is the backbone of organizations everywhere. And although it’s not expressed near often enough, they are our most coveted resource.

They organize us; they allocate our most precious commodity—our time; they are our trusted advisers; they get us places—and then get us back; they center us; they carry around our decoder rings; they are faithful; when needed to be, they can be cunning and crafty; they are members of our family.

They also have a very good sense of humor. Just asking around as I’m writing this entry, I’ve heard some fun and telling stories. Like one where an admin volunteered to pet-sit for his boss while he was on a business trip. The pet died—of natural causes, of course, but he was terrified—and mortified that he'd be fired. He wasn't, but there’s now an ongoing joke about giving him more dog-like responsibilities.

Or the story about the admin who was given her boss’ credit card and asked to go to Victoria’s Secret to purchase an anniversary present for his wife—and that she could treat herself to whatever she wanted too. (Sometimes you just gotta wonder what people are thinking!)

Perhaps one of the more telling stories of just how central and important the role of an admin is is the one about a boss' wife who took her husband’s admin out to lunch and gave her a lovely spa basket in appreciation of all the things she did. The spouse said that her life was greatly enhanced because of all the admin’s efforts.

So let’s take the essence of this week—where flowers and balloons fill office desks everywhere and bosses have wider-than-usual smiles on their faces as they ask to have something faxed or a meeting scheduled—and live it out all year long.

Do you have any admin stories or accolades to share?  Any suggestions on how we can live this spirit of acknowledgement and high regard all the time?

Cathy

P.S.:  To Gina, borrowing a quote from Bette Midler who so powerfully belts out the words, “You are the wind beneath my wings.”

By blogger Cathy Benko, Deloitte LLP